Bold And The Beautiful

At the outset, I am not talking about the famous television series “Bold and the Beautiful”.  Although the context is still the same and that is “Fashion”. I am no fashion icon and neither a fashion critique. I am just a normal, everyday person who loves to play dress up. My fashion sense has always told me that trendy dressing is all about looking smart, being comfortable and yet practical. But, to be very honest the dictates of the so-called fashion industry are completely opposite. The runway dresses are not only impractical but also leave very little to the imagination (read barely there). In fact, I am pretty sure that even the models that showcase these fine works of art would not be caught dead in them. So my point is – “Is bold really beautiful”? The cliché response would be that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If that be the case, then I am Miss Universe and others just an eyesore. Okay, maybe not that extreme but close enough.

If you look at all the Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities then a majority of them believe in power dressing because it makes them look important, intimidating and knowledgeable. And power dressing is in no way over the top revealing or garish but fashionable still. However, there is a small fraction of celebrities whose fashion sense is out of this world. You might be forced to give them a few pointers yourself. For example, some Hollywood celebrities often believe in baring their butt or boobs on the red carpet. Well, the first thought that pops in my head is who wants to know the shit that lies in between. Maybe their aim is to shock everybody to death in the name of fashion and being called trendsetters. Rose McGowan in 1998, Jennifer Lopez in 2001, Rihanna in 2014, Miley Cyrus in 2015 are just a few names who have shocked not only their fans but the world in general with their outstanding wardrobe.

10 Sep 1998, LOS ANGELES, California, United States — Remarkable entrance by singer Marilyn Manson and dressy girfriend Rose Mc Gowan. — Image by © TRAPPER FRANK/CORBIS SYGMA

Keeping up appearances can be exhausting still it does not mean that you go au-natural with barely there clothes. One thing that these celebrities have proved without a trace of doubt is that the bold is really not beautiful, on the contrary, it makes you the butt of all jokes and you also stand out for all the wrong reasons. Being fashionable is not about being bold, it is about being subtle and realistic. Look at Michelle Obama her dressing sense is impeccable and yet she is the most sought after fashion icon of the recent times. In fact, she is a woman par excellence who knows just the right tools of the fashion industry and uses them judiciously to her advantage.

The Essence Of A Woman

One of the questions most often asked in any beauty pageant is, “What is the essence of a woman.” So when I had a chance to be a part of a beauty pageant I wanted to get the answer just right. The wheels in my mind worked overtime and had me thinking – “Is it right to lay down the parameters within which a woman has to define and prove her being? Is it not enough that she is a person who is what she is? But then I realised that it was my thinking that needed a little adjustment. The thought behind the question was actually to understand what makes a woman stand separate from a man. Well yes, any fool could say her physical appearance, in fact, that is the first statement which anyone would make. So yes, she is a woman and so physically she has feminine attributes. And alas, she has much more than just that.

The essence of a woman does not lie in what she looks neither does it lie in what she lets others see. Her essence lies in her soul. She is warm and caring, yet fierce and strong. She is tender and sentimental yet trusting and loving. She is an innocent girl at heart who will always be her fathers princess. She is a devoted friend and wife who will always be there no matter what. She is a mother who teaches caring and sharing, falling and standing, loving and letting go.

A woman is a pool of emotions. She has her highs and lows just like any man. And she is definitely more sentimental. She believes in cleansing her soul through tears so that she can start afresh. Letting go, regrouping and starting anew is her second nature. Life and society binds her tightly in invisible bonds that define the various roles that she plays but grace and compassion still bear her name. Her essence is her very nature and all that she encompasses. She is the balance of a family and the building block of society. Her true essence is her strength of character which is tested time and again.

Kannur – A Gem Of Kerala

Holidays are meant for good times and enjoyment. And when hills are your home, the beaches are bound to be your holiday destination of choice. So searching for a place to unwind and relax was a no-brainer.

Almost 235 km away from Wellington via NH181 and 260 Kms via NH66, in the Gods Own Country lies a hidden gem known as Kannur. As a holiday destination and vacation spot it is bound to bewitch and amaze you with its pristine beaches and awe inspiring views. If you are looking for a place like Goa sans the overflowing tourists, shacks on beaches and over budget resorts, then your search for some peace and tranquility should lead you here. It is a perfect place for spending quality time with friends and family.

Also known as Cannanore during the British rule, this beautiful place has a rich and vibrant history. As one of the three most important cities of the western part of the Indian sub-continent, Kannur was not only an important trading center but also served as the headquarters of the British Military on the western coast of India until 1887. The old city of Kannur was ruled by Arakkal Sultanante, the only Muslim Royal Dynasty of Kerala, while its adjoining areas were under the rule of the Kolathiri Kings.

Today  St. Angelo’s Fort is the only standing witness to the immense history of Kannur. Overlooking the magnificent  Arabian Sea, the fort is built on a cliff by the side of Mapila Bay. It was built by the first Portuguese Viceroy of India, Dom Francisco de Almeida, in 1505.

  

  

The fort houses an epitaph of Susanna Weyerman who was the wife of the Dutch Governor Godfried Weyerman . She died on 28^th March 1745 A.D. and was just seventeen and half years at the time of death.

Coming back to the nearby attractions of Kannur, in the present time, one cannot miss the drive in beach that is at Muzhappilangad, a mere 14 km away from Kannur. This unique beach, and only one of its kind in India, is located between Kannur and Thalassery. Driving your vehicle on the beach with the Arabian Sea lapping beneath your wheels is an absolutely thrilling experience. During low tide one can cover a distance of approximately 5 km driving on the beach.

If you are looking for recommendation of a resort for staying then try the Club7 Beach Resort on Kizhunna Beach. Its only drawback is a hardly 50 mts stretch of bumpy mud road that finally leads to the resort. Apart from that little detail, the place offers complete value for money accommodation. Cleanliness is at its best, the food is appetizing and good and the staff is extremely pleasant and friendly. And the best part is that the beach is just 30 steps away from the resort.

 

So next time when you decide to plan a beach holiday, don’t just rush to Goa. There is much more that our incredible country has to offer. Searching out these hidden gems will not only make your vacations more exotic but pleasurable as well. Kannur is just a proof that good holidays can be had within the limits of a tight budget.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

HAPPY VACATIONS!

 

The Wicked Mother-In-Law

Very often I have wondered – “Why is it that the mother-in-law is wicked? And how come your own mother is the best in the whole wide world, even if she is somebody else’s mother-in-law? Aren’t we just prejudiced based on what our mothers suffered and carry it somewhere in our hearts”?

Out of sheer curiosity I studied the dynamics between the partners of this so called abusive and repulsive relationship. My friends and their respective wicked mother-in-law’s or maybe I should say monster-in-law’s were my unsuspecting subjects. So first and foremost, I want to apologise to them for digging in their lives, but fear not as I do not mention any names. This article is just a report of my findings.

Mostly, a monster-in-law does truly exist BUT only in the mind of a bitchy daughter-in-law. The culprit here is not just one party but both. This is because neither wants to apologise. Sometimes I wonder how a small word like “sorry” can be so difficult to utter. The plain and simple reason is “Ego”. Once ego comes into play its all a downhill road from there on. Neither person is willing to accept defeat and what ensues is an ugly war of words.

Power play is yet another reason that leads to the downfall of this relationship. And the poor victim in this epic clash of titans is the son or the husband (depending on which party you represent). I really fail to understand how todays women can even think of playing this tug-of-war. It’s like asking the man to choose between food and water. In any scenario the result will be death by either starvation or dehydration for the unsuspecting man.

To conclude, a little understanding from both parties will go a long way in establishing a loving and warm relationship. And yes, there do exist a handful of mother-in-laws who are real monsters but they are just that, too few, to paint all others in the same colour. So keep an open mind and don’t take offence at every minute detail. Also remember that your husband is not asking you to choose between your own mother and him so why put him through this wringer.

A Note To Myself

 

When I was young, a teenager, I had many dreams. I wanted a career, wished to travel and see the world, hoped to do whatever I wanted to without a single care. Now that I am grown and more mature, I realize my naivety. Had I been a man most of what I dreamt could have been easy to achieve or at-least work towards. As a woman I comprehend that my upbringing and society has laid such invisible chains around me that it is impossible to break through.

Once I started working I knew that I was not much of a career woman. Although, while I worked I delivered my best I also came to figure out that my soul was a wanderer and as such my heart was never into becoming a full time professional. So, post marriage giving up my job was one of the easiest decisions that I had to make.

As life went ahead, I was blessed with two children. I got to travel some, even though within the country, the places were new and the experiences enlightening. In all, I was happy and satisfied. At first I had no clue that something was missing, but the unrest within started becoming more and more obvious as each day passed. Maybe the fact that my youngest one too would be starting school very soon had me wondering what I would do with all the time on my hands. My irritation and frustration with life started reflecting in my behavior. I could not blame anyone else for my decisions as they were my own. It was time to change.

Change never comes on its own, you have to work towards it, a step at a time. I started looking for work that I could do in my free time without overlooking my family and its needs. The search was frustrating. With so many websites offering work from home opportunities, I never knew which were real and which frauds were. Finally, after months of searching my efforts paid off and I started working as a freelance content writer. The initial hiccups wanted me to just give up, sit back and have a good cry. A quitter I am not, so I decided to take the bull by the horns. By no account were my earnings even satisfactory, but I was not in it for money. I was working so as to make myself feel more useful , productive and important. My work made me feel valued and needed.

As life tends to do quite often, it sent me in a tailspin yet again and I had to give up my job temporarily. And yet my short stint in freelancing has made me more aware of how pivotal a person I am when it comes to my family.

A note to myself :

“I might not have seen the whole world yet, but I still have time. There is a long way ahead and my family needs me more. They may not show it every day in words or action how I bind them but my absence makes them feel lost and unprepared. I might not be happy everyday but most days I am so why just concentrate on those few bad days. I am important and my work as a homemaker is more important than any other job in the world. Tomorrow will be a bright, new and shiny day and will bring a whole horde of new opportunities. I just have to grasp them when they cross my path. Life shall go on and I will have to remember each day that staying at home does not make me any less important … still a little appreciation now and then would go a long way in making my days even brighter”.

Silence Under The Blue Sky – Book Review

Usually I don’t do book reviews, but sometimes your conscious just forces you. One such push came from my conscious when I read “Silence – Under The Blue Sky”. First and foremost, let me tell you that “Under The Blue Sky” is a series that reflects the lives of the men and women in Blue – the Indian Air Force.

“Silence” is a true story of resilience and the indomitable spirit of a lady in Blue. It is an account of incredible misfortune and the battling soul of an air warrior. This true story arises the feelings of compassion and empathy but never pity.

The premise of this story is set against the backdrop of an unfortunate incident, wherein, two helicopters of the IAF had a mid-air collision on 30 August 2012, at Jamnagar. It was fatal and there were no survivors.

The author, Rajlakshmi Prithviraj, recounts her ordeal and the unconditional support and respect that she got from her extended family of the IAF. A small peek into the future tells us of her aspirations for her children. Her strength of character and dedication for the organisation is eminent in each and every word. She is a pillar of strength and a woman of infallible spirit. All she wants in life is respect and a chance to live it on her own terms, without being judged.

I have had the good fortune of knowing her as well as her husband and let me tell you that the lady today is no different. Her twinkling eyes and ever present smile are always there to make you feel at ease. I do not use the term “late” for her husband as he continues to live in her thoughts and memories. The only thing different, now, is my respect for her and the love of her life – her sweetheart, her husband.

Shopping Therapy – Changing Parameters

 

Just like bread was meant to be buttered, women were meant for shopping. If cooking is not your forte then understand the paradigm by, “what cardio is to men, shopping is to women”.They are most happy and content when their inner shopping beast is satisfied. To that extent it is mandatory for ever husband and boyfriend to bear in mind that – Men go shopping to buy what they want, while women go shopping to know what they want. 

There was a time not so long ago in our history when going to the market was the only way possible to harass both the husband and the shopkeeper, in equal measure. But somebody up there was not happy with this approach. They thought if the men folk have to suffer so much then why not let them be in a place where they do not have to bear the indignity of public embarrassment and hence decided to bring about the existence of E-commerce. Now the suffering of the the male human mortals is restricted to their diminishing bank balance. The main dilemma, for the women now, is which website is the best and offers the most competitive prices. Obviously online shopping does not give the satisfaction of haranguing the seller until, in the literal sense, he drops down on his knees and begs for mercy. In other words, you make bhaiya (brother) and padosi (neighbour) of him so that he agrees to your prices.

If the lady cannot pester the website then what can she do to satisfy her fast talking beast? The answer is very apparent – obviously, torment the customer service executives. This harassing can range from ranting over pricey products to not having good enough variety, colour mis-match to quality deterioration. In all, the aim is to let the website know that by gracing them with your presence you are indeed offering a big service to their flagging image.

On a serious note, gone are the days of visiting markets and running shop to shop trying to find that elusive item on your shopping list. Everything is now at your disposal and just a click away. All you need is the arsenal of Internet banking or credit card login ID and password. The best thing is that shopping can now be done at any time and from any place. There are no working hours as websites operate 24×7 and there is no inconvenience of travelling. You can shop in your most rudimentary and comfortable attire and yet there is no one around to judge you based on how you dress and carry yourself. All you need is an Internet connection and Voila! You are all set to SHOP TILL YOU DROP!!!

The Joy Ride In Toy Train

A quaint little station, nestled in the heart of Nilgiris, surrounded by lush greenery and architecture right out of the British era – this is how one aptly describes the Wellington Railway Station. It is a tiny station that reminds you of the old world charm. Usually quiet and draped in nonentity the station fails to attract much attention. But all that changes as the train whistle is heard coming closer and closer. The gentle rumbling sound of the train is an omen for the station to leave behind its lethargy and come to life. The excitement in one and all present at the station, be it old or young is equally eminent and contagious.

The Blue colored toy train graces the Wellington Railway Station with just one minute of stoppage. But the entire staff on board is extremely helpful and will get you seated before the train moves forth. The train itself is a reminder of the fact that journey in hills is best enjoyed through wide eyes and open windows.

As the train chugs onward from the Wellington Railway Station, a little cheer goes up from the crowd as the true journey into the Nilgiris actually begins now. Between Wellington and Ooty the train stops at Aravankadu, Ketti and Lovedale respectively. The spread of nature that is presented before eyes is breathtaking and awe inspiring. Small hamlets, green tea gardens, tall trees and dense foliage presents an interesting collage of different shades of green with a splatter of colors thrown here and there. The rolling landscape is not only pleasing to the eye but refreshes the soul as well with its abundance of beauty. At every curve and bend, the entire length of the train can be seen easily. This makes for many little heads popping out of the windows.

Before reaching Ooty the train passes through two tunnels. The sudden darkness encountered is evaded by the twinkling yellow lights in the interior of the toy train. For kids especially, this aspect of the journey is most beguiling. The slow climb uphill is hardly felt barring the dropping temperatures.

 

When the journey is exciting, adventure is bound to happen. Our adventure commenced at the Wellington Railway Station itself where we (me, my mother-in-law, my friend and our four kids) came to know that the train was coming full and we might not get tickets. The children were upset and disheartened to hear that. But thankfully, our guardian angels were doing overtime and hence saved the day for us. To top it all, the children managed to find window seats where there were none available. The moment we reached Ooty, we saw a never ending line of people already waiting to board the train. Alas by now our angels were also tired and decided to call it a day.

The next order of business was to find transport back to Wellington. Stepping out of the Ooty Railway Station we saw the bus stop just across the road. Armed with the knowledge of English we identified a nearly empty bus leaving for Coonoor. Our ride back in the local state transport bus was much quicker. At Coonoor we hailed an auto rickshaw to take us till Wellington. Once there we retrieved our parked car and went home with lighter bags ( since the children had managed to make extensive headway into the stash of snacks) and tired children.

 

Our joy ride in the toy train had become a lesson for our kids in the different kinds of transport on wheels. We started from the train and moved to a bus, an auto rickshaw and finally a car. But come what may, the excitement in children for the toy train remains unfazed. They want to go travel in it one more time (although not necessarily the last one). Through their never ending enthusiasm and eagerness, we too shall live our childhood once again.

 

Give me some sunshine,

Give me some rain,

Give me another chance,

I want to grow up once again.

An Adventurous Drive

The first opportunity to take a breather came in the form of the first RE-break. It was a time for the mere “Student Owls”, to poke their heads out from their nests and spread their wings, to get a glimpse into the real world. Three days presented a chance to pack in as much adventure, fun, and enjoyment as possible. Following the mob mentality, we too decided it was time to explore and venture out. Our choice of destination was Mysore or Mysuru as it is now called.

Thanks to friends and good company my husband was not the designated driver this time and hence could enjoy the sights throughout the drive. But he still had the obligation of being the responsible navigator. So with the help of a data pack he set course on the Google Maps. The drive began on an uneventful note. As we left Wellington, the weather was cloudy yet cool, with a little breeze. Lots of conversations and jokes being exchanged mile after mile made for an enjoyable journey. Things started looking up after we reached Ooty. The so-called breeze had picked up in intensity and the clouds had started showering their blessings.

On the outskirts of Ooty the GPS pointed us to go straight ahead but an uninformed passerby, along with some prior knowledge of the navigator, we decided to take the alternate route. This route was full of dense foliage and huge trees. The breeze had developed into strong winds accompanied with mild showers. A few more miles ahead and we came across our first fallen tree. It was a huge one and must have fallen minutes earlier as we were the second car in waiting to go across. Also, the mayhem of a traffic jam had yet not developed. After a few minutes of consultation with the others stranded, we decided to go under the tree. The underpass was a close call fraught with anxiety but no damages.

After that trees fallen across the road was a normal occurrence. But thanks to the invention of power saws the road was getting cleared quickly.

Once we hit the plains, a mutual consensus was that the drive would now be routine without any interruptions. Again nature took its own course. Our first forced halt was at “Mudumalai Reserve Forest” when we saw an elephant and that too a ‘Tusker’, chomping on green leaves. Such a close encounter with a mighty animal left us feeling quite awed. The children were ecstatic and we were speechless.

Proceeding forward we entered the “Bandipur Reserve Forest”.Obviously, there was no Veerappan to meet and greet us but how could our adventure just fizzle out. So we now had our second encounter at close range with a mighty elephant and its baby.

When nature conspires to present such incredible sights one just has to stop to admire and make memories. Needless to say our cameras worked overtime.

The journey onwards was a sight of blooming sunflower fields and vendors selling tons of watermelons. Mysore in itself was a beautiful, clean and open city. It’s heritage buildings were a sight to behold and offered a glimpse into our rich history. The first RE-break was indeed a holiday well spent and marks the beginnings of newer adventures yet to come.

 

 

 

Murdering Love & Relationships

                           

Fact of the matter is that life is all about gathering more and more money and measuring happiness in direct relation to it. As a consequence, quality time spent with any loved one, be it a friend, parent or spouse, is inconsequential and inadequate. Gone are the days when the whole family would sit down together to watch a movie or share a meal. Somewhere in the midst of misplaced priorities we have lost the true focus of life. Now a days, the equivalent of sharing a meal with family is clicking away to glory on your tablet or smartphone. “What’s App” is the new family and “Facebook” and “Twitter” etc., the new friends. For all purposes, you did sit down with your actual family but landed up spending zilch quality time with them. And so is the story on all other fronts. When such is the vicious circle of life affinity is sure to die.

We are a victim of our own creations that have misled us into becoming what we are – Spoiled and Selfish. Circumstances do not dictate ignoring those who are important, it is our selfish motives that drive us away from them. Divorce rates are high not because love died a natural death but because we did not take out time to build on what we had. Love and respect have to be nurtured so that relationships grow stronger. But instead, we blame the other persons shortcomings and overlook our own. The long and short of the matter is that love and respect do not disappear suddenly but wither away over a period of time. These feelings fade gradually as we fail to give them their due importance in actual life.

A lot more can be said on the matter and enough excuses can be made to justify our blatant ignorance. But the plain and simple truth, which is hard to deny, is that relationships are murdered with our own hands by denying love from growing.